Jesus

Live Your Truth: He Died For That Mess

My life used to be perfect. I had the husband, the two kids, the sweet little house; I was running a ministry at a church I loved; I was writing books and speaking; I had great friends.

Then the wheels came off. Or, more accurately, the wheels had been wobbly and precarious for years and years but I actually started to acknowledge it.

And I started taking off the mask. I started telling people – first in whispers, then in shouts – my truth. That things weren’t as they seemed. That the busyness was to disguise the sadness; that the cute outfits and hair just so was to cover up what was going on deep inside of me.

Because what was going on inside was that I was an absolute mess practically every moment of every day and I was praying no one would notice and yet at the same time praying that even one person would notice and rescue me.

You see, my marriage was hard and fractured and breaking into a thousand pieces all the time and there were these little words knocking on my door – words like abuse and addiction – that were threatening to take my sweet, little life away, and so I ignored them as long as I could, bearing all my weight against the door.

I thought Jesus couldn’t – or worse yet, wouldn’t – use an emotional wreck like me, so if I hid it from the world, it were as if it weren’t true.

But here is what I’m finding, on the other side of the unraveling and unveiling…there is freedom in truth. There is healing when you let others in to help put you back together. And there is redemption when you hand over who you are to Jesus – all of who you really are – and ask for help and grace.

I have met more women in hurting marriages or who have gone through horrible divorces since beginning to speak out. That both saddens me and bolsters me up. I’m devastated at the state of some Christian marriages, and yet, I am being restored enough to reach out to others in whispers and in shouts that they’re not alone.

Jesus does not want your perfect little life. Jesus wants your mess. Jesus died for your mess. And Jesus came back to life for your mess. Give it to him. Lay it down. Ask him to help you see your truth, and begin to speak it. Ask him to heal it. Then ask him to redeem it.

That’s what he came for.

…all things work together for good to those who love God… Romans 8:28a {NKJV}

Do you need to allow Jesus into your mess in this season? Do you believe he came and lived and loved, died and rose to life for YOUR mess?

{Photo Credit}

Elisabeth Corcoran

Elisabeth is mom to two teenagers. She is the author of several books including, In Search of Calm: Renewal for a Mother’s Heart and Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom’s Weary Soul. Learn more about Elisabeth at www.elisabethcorcoran.com.

3 Ways to Find Grace for Your Marriage in Parenthood

By Jenevieve Wardell 4 Comments

Once you have kids, romantic sex becomes frantic sex—meaning you try to have sex quickly while the kids are asleep, occupied or at grandma’s house. I heard someone say this recently and could not stop laughing. There is so much about parenthood people do not share with you when you are preparing to have a child. Most people only tell you about the good parts—the beautiful baby, the snuggling and the tiny clothes. There is so much more they leave out. SO. MUCH.

Parenthood is a marathon in many respects. My old pastor, Dr. Hunter, used to say that children drain you physically when they are young, emotionally as teenagers and spiritually as young adults. Parenting is EXHAUSTING…yet wonderful. Parenthood stretches us individually and as couples, placing unique pressures on our marriages that did not exist before we had children. How we handle these pressures as husbands and wives directly affects our marriages. When I married my husband, I had I Corinthians 13:7 inscribed on the inside of his wedding band. It states, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” So much of marriage AND parenthood is “bearing and enduring” in love. When things go bad we long for God to rescue us, make things better or send light in the darkness. But, what if instead, we tried to patiently endure, as Christ, Paul, Abraham and so many others did and let God meet us IN the darkness and sustain us there, before we gaze upon the light.

Phillipians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” God will bring us through whatever he brings us to. Sometimes we just have to endure in hope. These past few weeks have been particularly stressful at my house due to multiple sicknesses and long hours for me at home alone with the kids while my hubby works overtime. During this season I have found three things that continue to sustain me when parenthood tries to pull at my sanity.

1) Pray for each other and with each other. Hold hands or hug each other before you go your separate ways for the day. Ask him what is ahead of him and pray exactly what you would want him to pray for you if you were facing the same challenges. Ask him to pray for you and then continue to pray for one another throughout the day.

2) Say what you need to say in the way you should say it and ask for what you need. I maintain that you can say just about anything IF you say it in the right way. Start your sentences with “I feel…” or “I really need help with this.” Keep a calm tone. Do not share your feelings if you are angry, frustrated or short-tempered. Wait until you have cooled off. Finally, make your needs known. There is no way your spouse can know your feelings or needs if you do not share them. Be specific about what you need.

3) As said before, “bear and endure.” Sometimes you both are going to come to the end of your ropes at the same time. Sometimes one of you will need more support than the other. Sometimes you will have sickness in your house for days on end. Sometimes you will cry alone in the bathroom while your kids are going crazy and pray for God to help you. Life is messy. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Endure in patient hope, knowing that God sees everything you are facing and will bring you through one way or another. Believe the promise of Psalm 34:17, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

How about you? What kind of things are you enduring right now? Are you simply asking God to bring you into the light, or are you letting him sustain you in the darkness? How do you and your spouse handle the pressure parenthood places on marriage?

{Photo Credit}

Jenevieve Wardell

Jenevieve lives in Charlotte with her husband Randy and two children, Isaac and Hope. She is a licensed mental health counselor who practiced for five years, and now writes for a monthly psychotherapy blog. She is currently a stay-at-home mom who is learning to embrace grace in a whole new way.

Filed Under: Baby, Blog, Faith, Family, Home, Marriage, Motherhood Tagged With: Baby, Bible Study, Bible Teaching, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Family, Grace, Intentionality, Jesus, Kids, Love, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, Perspective, Prayer, Relationships, Stress, Tips

The Pursuit of True Love

By Boothe Farley Leave a Comment

My husband and I took a little three-day weekend trip to Charleston, South Carolina recently to see some old friends. It’s become a bit of an annual getaway in which we leave kids and all the cares of regular life behind (sort of) and just enjoy the special richness that comes from a decade-long friendship. No one feels like they have to be anything they’re not, or keep from saying anything they really need to say. To be totally cliche: it’s real. And in a world where a lot of things seem pretty darn manufactured, that’s refreshing.

One of the things we discussed on the first night was that, breaking tradition after several years, we skipped our trip in 2012 and consequently had spent two years apart. So much had transpired in our lives. It was like a panicked frenzy to try to cover everything we had all missed in those 24 months, trying to keep chronology in mind as we traversed through all the details of work, family, other friendships, huge losses and astounding blessings. And that’s when I realized that the last time I’d seen them, I had no idea how much the Lord was going to do in my life before I’d see them again. I started to recount those things and I was struck by the fact that I should do this more often: think back, say, two years, and consider how far He’s brought me. How far He’s brought me away from some things, how far He’s brought me to walk into others.

My friend’s husband told us that when he was traveling in Israel last spring, his pastor and guide told him that when Jesus was resurrected, He immediately set out to find Peter, who, as we all know, had denied even knowing Jesus just three days before. According to the guide, the location that Jesus had been buried was about three hours away from the Sea of Galilee where Peter was fishing – three hours away by bus. It would have taken Jesus several days to get to Peter on foot – and still, Jesus went. Jesus went because He knew that Peter was where he’d always been, where he was always going to be unless Someone stepped in and opened His eyes to a broader horizon, to a life with much bigger scope than he could imagine for himself: on the water. Jesus had found Peter fishing three years before and He knew that now, after Peter was probably stumbling to make sense of the execution of his friend and Teacher, Peter would go back to what he’d always done, to what he knew. He’d find a boat, grab some nets, and fish. And that’s exactly where Jesus found him. That’s the point on the map where Jesus set his course when He rose from the grave: to find Peter. It was intentional, it was purposed, and most of all: it wasn’t convenient. It wasn’t an easy, I’ll-just-swing-by kind of pit stop. It was out of His way. But it was exactly where He wanted to be.

My friend’s pastor said that this is a picture of how Jesus is with each of us. He’s constantly pursuing us. And Peter, fishing, is a picture of what we do, over and over again, when we need so desperately to be pursued. Like Peter, our mistakes and our regrets send us running. And usually running back to the place Jesus first found us: in our sin. We have that tendency, to feel like we’ve blown it, and so we might as well throw in the towel and retreat to a place – or a person, or a habit, or a mindset – that feels comfortable. Jesus always goes out of His way to reach our hearts. He did it when He came as an infant. He did it when He rose and sought out a distraught and totally guilty fisherman. And He does it, over and over again, with you and me.

Looking back over the last two years, it’s interesting and fun to see the blessings He has given me. But looking at them in the light of all the ways He’s pursued me is more mind-blowing. He could have stopped bothering. But He knows that for me, as it is with you – and as it was with Peter – there is someone, Someone, who is writing a story with my life that is far greater than I can write for myself. Who is charting a course for my journey that leads to a final destination far more beautiful than I can imagine. All those blessings aren’t just good things for now; they’re pieces of the best things I’ll get to have in full, forever, because He came after me – and He always will.

In what ways has He pursued you lately?

{Photo Credit}

Boothe Farley

Boothe Farley is a 30-something mom who is a bit more tired than she'd like to be, for good reason. She has 3 beautiful children and a super-fun husband who keep her life a whirlwind of giggles, soccer games, school projects and date nights. She loves writing and riding bicycles on the beach. Her heart and her devotion belong to Jesus because His love is more real than any she has ever experienced.

Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: Faith, Jesus, Love, Perspective, Pursuit, Valentines Day

GRACE: More Than A Word

By Crista Ashworth 6 Comments

If you have been around church a lot or have a longstanding heritage of Christianity, you might be pretty comfortable with the lingo. There have been some hilarious YouTube sketches and videos of late that pay homage to the labyrinth of Christianese our church culture has adopted. And if you’re honest, you will probably admit to having used church phrases a little too loosely with your non-church friends in the past. Imagine these words coming out of your mouth at a city council meeting:

“Councilman Rogers, your vote was such a blessing!”

“When can we get the committees together for some fellowship?”

“I took this appetizer to my community group and when they tasted it, they were all slain in the Spirit!”

Yeah, haha, funny. But just as someone who has not been exposed to church lingo is numb to the meaning behind the words, I find that I, as Christian, can completely miss the meaning to certain words that should electrify me. Salvation. Atonement. Sacrifice. Mercy. GRACE.

GRACE is almost too slippery for my mind. I toss the word around, but I have trouble nailing down what it really is. Every time I reach out and grab it, it spins and looks completely different. Lately, I have mentally assigned grace the image of a gemstone with many, many cuts where each surface gives me a different perspective of what is inside. I stare into it from one angle, then turn my eye slightly and see into another vast view of what it is.

I got to hear two amazing Christian leaders talk about GRACE at my church this week. Dr. Jack Hayford painted the picture of GRACE as not merely a pass for mistakes or wrongdoing, not a glossing over of a job poorly done, but an unlimited access to a power that takes us farther that we can go in our own strength. He equated GRACE with our access to God’s power. I have never looked at it from that angle, but boy, do I need more of that! When I trade in my weariness and get His strength in return, that is GRACE. When I sacrifice my own agenda and He exchanges it for His best laid plans, that is GRACE. When I want to scream at my children, but cry out to God for help instead, His GRACE is the power that begins to flow through me, making me a much better mom to train up little people who love Him with passion.

If that weren’t enough to process this week, I also heard Max Lucado explain it. He described the GRACE of God like ocean waves – it keeps coming. If you wade out into the water, you feel the crash of a wave over your whole being. It covers you and might even knock you down. When you stand back up, there are more where that one came from! And they never stop. If you feel like you have gone too far for God to love you or forgive you, He answers you with a big ol’ wave of GRACE. It splashes, drenches and knocks you off your feet. And if you stand back up to protest, there will be another wave of His GRACE to cover you. And another, and another and another. Max went on to say that GRACE is “God’s radical commitment to redeem and restore for Himself a people…with whom He will reign forever.” He will never stop restoring you – no matter what – until everything is restored. GRACE is getting swept off my feet by the goodness of Almighty—yet detail-intimate—God.

I desperately need God’s GRACE, or I’m not going to make it. Bottom line. Without the influence of GRACE on me and the flow of GRACE out of me, I’m about as worthwhile as a shriveled up houseplant. But with GRACE, I am liberated to love myself and others, I am able to disengage my own limited strength and tap into His infinite power, and I can experience His life so deeply that I breathe it into others around me.

So, I guess for this new year, I’m taking GRACE out of the Christianese box in my brain and turning it loose into my heart. I will keep looking at it and learning about it, but I want to live in it. I want to feel it and express it and know it in my “knower.” Not just a pass, but power. Not just a word, but wave, after wave, after wave.

What does GRACE mean to you?

{Photo Credit}

Crista Ashworth

Crista Ashworth is a thirty-something wife and mom who is passionate about Jesus. She is a newbie homeschooler on top of the other million things she does as a mom. She considers herself a professional laugher, a foodie and a covert operative for the Kingdom. You can also find Crista writing regularly at Destiny in Bloom online magazine and on her personal blog Dishes and Diapers.

What Freedom Looks Like

By Crista Ashworth 2 Comments

This is an important and joyful day for Americans. The day we celebrate our independence, our determination, our strength, honor and valor. Freedom is a precious thing, bought with the sacrifice of many who have gone before us. I am grateful.

But, did you know that freedom doesn’t only apply to nations and people groups in a political sort of way? In fact, freedom is very personal. Freedom is an amazing state of being that each person who follows Jesus can experience in a deep, life-altering way. You see, our freedom was bought with the sacrifice of One who went before us. And we are constantly learning new levels of gratitude.

One of the best definitions I have ever heard describing spiritual and emotional freedom is this: “Freedom is not the absence of something; it is the presence of Someone.”

Pause and consider.

Most of us think that our lives would be so much easier if only _____________ were different. Or if only ______________ had never happened. Or if only I could stop _________________. But you can actually be free in the midst of all of that mess. In the same way you don’t have to be a good person before you come to Jesus for salvation, you don’t have to fix all your mistakes and clean up all your messes before you, as a child of God, can ask for His intervention. Jesus paid it ALL with His sacrifice on the cross. He bought your eternal salvation, yes; but He also bought your fullness, healing and deliverance for this moment. He has taken back the keys of death and hell and you are not a slave to them any longer! Did you know this?! Then why are so many of us Christians living a beat-down life full of failure, sorrow and misery?

We have been deceived.

We get into the rhythms of life and think, “This is just how it is. It probably won’t ever get any better, so I just need to accept that this is my life.” Let me tell you, sister, that is Classic Lie #1 from your nemesis, the devil. You might be thinking that your kids will never learn….your husband will never change…your baby will never sleep through the night…your bank account will never have enough money…you will never accomplish the dream in your heart… The devil says “NO! Nothing will ever change! Just sit down, be quiet and keep to yourself.” But your Savior says “Yes, all the promises of God are YES in Me. I have spoken a YES over your life, and when you open your heart to Me, I can move mountains, make rivers appear in the desert, change hearts, heal wounds, provide enough money, parent your children, reverse curses. Nothing is too hard for Me.”

What does spiritual and emotional freedom look like? It can look like you. You can be the new poster-child for freedom if you want to be. You don’t have to keep your hands tied together by circumstances or past hurts. You don’t have to wear the ball and chain of wrongs done to you. Jesus holds the keys, and if you have given your life to Him, you have full access to those keys.

Is there something that the Holy Spirit has bubbled up to the surface for you? Something that has you bound? Come with me to God’s throne of grace and let’s bring it to Him together!

Father, I am bound by ____________________. I can’t shake it and I desperately need You to come and break the bonds. Thank You, Jesus, for paying the price for me! Thank You for rescuing me and holding the keys to my freedom! I want to be free, Lord. Lift this off of me and fill me up with your Spirit, in Jesus’ name!

I agree with you by faith that Jesus has broken your bonds and you are a free woman! Maybe this is YOUR independence day…

One thing I have learned as I have walked out my own freedom from depression: you WALK out your freedom. Freedom is established choice by choice, moment by moment. Once the Lord has set you free, don’t go back to the old way of thinking! Be free!

These are some very helpful resources that have taught me how to walk out freedom in my own life:

Think Differently Live Differently, by Bob Hamp

Unveiled: The Transforming Power of God’s Presence and Voice, by Alan Smith

Battlefield of the Mind, by Joyce Meyer

Freedom Ministry classes through Gateway Church (free online video for Foundations classes, free online audio for Topical classes)

What would spiritual/emotional freedom look like in your life?

{Photo used via Creative Commons}