Prayer

It Is Finished: On Prayer and an Easter Lesson I Learned from my 4 Year Old

My 20 month old is obsessed with prayer. OK, maybe he’s just obsessed with holding hands and shouting the word, “Amen!” at the end but I like to tell myself my toddler-sized spiritual giant is so moved by prayer that he wants to engage in it 4 times daily. It’s been fun to watch my 4 year old lead her brother in prayers. The whole thing has caused us to stop more and slow down before a meal or in the car to offer up our requests to God when we might otherwise rush through this precious act of spiritual growth. One of the many ways Jesus draws us in through motherhood I believe.

My daughter often asks me to stop and pray for her. The teeny, tiny scrape on her arm or her upset tummy needs immediate attention, after all. Have you ever noticed that most kids don’t ask you to pray for those things over and over again? Sure, they may ask you to pray again but rarely do they come back, time and time again, offering the same desperate requests.

It is finished.

After praying over a small cut on her lip in the car the other day, we said “amen” and I clearly heard the Lord say, “It is finished!” As I pondered the phrase and asked God what he was trying to reveal to me, I realized this fact that most of the time, kids don’t ask and ask for us to pray over the same thing. While we might have a sick loved one or an ongoing health issue that we are bringing to God daily, the small, everyday acts of healing that they bring to the Father are usually left with him.

It is finished.

Through the years I’ve developed a desperate form of prayer that begs God to meet me where I am to do something for me. When I don’t see his answer I continue to beg, carrying the burden that prayer affords me to leave with him. The very work of the cross allows us to rest in knowing that once we offer a request to the Father, we can leave it there, trusting he will finish the work according to his will. We dishonor Jesus and what he did for us when we choose to desperately hold on to that which he offers to carry for us.

It is finished.

There are definitely prayers that seem to go unanswered for a period of time and that can understandably bring about impatience, fear, anxiety and frustration. But we don’t have to continue to throw our unanswered prayers in his face as if he missed it the first time. He hears, he sees, he takes and he holds – every request we bring to him. Once the words of prayer leave our lips – it is finished. We can leave it there and trust in his goodness and his ability. At times our human heart may become anxious thinking about an unanswered prayer. This is our opportunity to declare our belief that it is in his hands and it. is. finished. In those moments, we don’t have to desperately repeat our request, we must desperately confess our trust that he’s got it.

I am continuing to reflect on the purpose of prayer throughout this season of Easter, thanking God that the work Jesus did for us on the cross gives us direct access to him, the Father. Our sins, our struggles, our hopes and our most intimate requests were there with him as he offered his life for our sake. And as Jesus rose to life on the third day, God clearly showed that he is able to bring life to our bodies, our families, our finances, our dreams. . .

It is finished.

Do you struggle with leaving your requests with Jesus? What has God been revealing to you this season about the work Jesus did on the cross?

{Photo Credit}

Jessica Wolstenholm

Jessica Wolstenholm is co-founder of Grace for Moms. She is passionate about writing words of grace for moms and moms-to-be. Co-author of The Pregnancy Companion book, she also blogs about TTC, infertility & pregnancy at ThePregnancyCompanion.com

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Filed Under: Faith, Family, Holiday, Motherhood Tagged With: Bible Teaching, Easter, Faith, Holidays, Kids, Motherhood, Perspective, Prayer

3 Ways to Find Grace for Your Marriage in Parenthood

By Jenevieve Wardell 4 Comments

Once you have kids, romantic sex becomes frantic sex—meaning you try to have sex quickly while the kids are asleep, occupied or at grandma’s house. I heard someone say this recently and could not stop laughing. There is so much about parenthood people do not share with you when you are preparing to have a child. Most people only tell you about the good parts—the beautiful baby, the snuggling and the tiny clothes. There is so much more they leave out. SO. MUCH.

Parenthood is a marathon in many respects. My old pastor, Dr. Hunter, used to say that children drain you physically when they are young, emotionally as teenagers and spiritually as young adults. Parenting is EXHAUSTING…yet wonderful. Parenthood stretches us individually and as couples, placing unique pressures on our marriages that did not exist before we had children. How we handle these pressures as husbands and wives directly affects our marriages. When I married my husband, I had I Corinthians 13:7 inscribed on the inside of his wedding band. It states, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” So much of marriage AND parenthood is “bearing and enduring” in love. When things go bad we long for God to rescue us, make things better or send light in the darkness. But, what if instead, we tried to patiently endure, as Christ, Paul, Abraham and so many others did and let God meet us IN the darkness and sustain us there, before we gaze upon the light.

Phillipians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” God will bring us through whatever he brings us to. Sometimes we just have to endure in hope. These past few weeks have been particularly stressful at my house due to multiple sicknesses and long hours for me at home alone with the kids while my hubby works overtime. During this season I have found three things that continue to sustain me when parenthood tries to pull at my sanity.

1) Pray for each other and with each other. Hold hands or hug each other before you go your separate ways for the day. Ask him what is ahead of him and pray exactly what you would want him to pray for you if you were facing the same challenges. Ask him to pray for you and then continue to pray for one another throughout the day.

2) Say what you need to say in the way you should say it and ask for what you need. I maintain that you can say just about anything IF you say it in the right way. Start your sentences with “I feel…” or “I really need help with this.” Keep a calm tone. Do not share your feelings if you are angry, frustrated or short-tempered. Wait until you have cooled off. Finally, make your needs known. There is no way your spouse can know your feelings or needs if you do not share them. Be specific about what you need.

3) As said before, “bear and endure.” Sometimes you both are going to come to the end of your ropes at the same time. Sometimes one of you will need more support than the other. Sometimes you will have sickness in your house for days on end. Sometimes you will cry alone in the bathroom while your kids are going crazy and pray for God to help you. Life is messy. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Endure in patient hope, knowing that God sees everything you are facing and will bring you through one way or another. Believe the promise of Psalm 34:17, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

How about you? What kind of things are you enduring right now? Are you simply asking God to bring you into the light, or are you letting him sustain you in the darkness? How do you and your spouse handle the pressure parenthood places on marriage?

{Photo Credit}

Jenevieve Wardell

Jenevieve lives in Charlotte with her husband Randy and two children, Isaac and Hope. She is a licensed mental health counselor who practiced for five years, and now writes for a monthly psychotherapy blog. She is currently a stay-at-home mom who is learning to embrace grace in a whole new way.

Filed Under: Blog, Family, Motherhood Tagged With: Bible Study, Bible Teaching, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Family, Grace, Intentionality, Jesus, Kids, Love, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, Perspective, Prayer, Pregnancy & Baby, Relationships, Stress, Tips

31 Days to Flourishing Friendships {Day 26} Praying for Friendships

By Kristy Chowning 1 Comment

Talking about how to grow flourishing friendships is a bit futile if you don’t even know where to start. If you find yourself lacking friendships, then a starting point is in prayer. Ask the Lord to bring people into your life that can become friends.

When I was in 7th grade, it seemed like everyone around me had a best friend. You know that one friend that you could always count on to sit with. The friend that you completely trusted and just knew would never let you down. I prayed that God would give me a best friend and looked around not sure if she existed in my current circles. Then walked in the new girl, Sara. I don’t know if we instantly clicked because we were so compatible as friends, or if we were just both looking for a best friend. Regardless, we clicked and we ended up doing everything that best friends (in 7th grade) did. I was so thankful that the Lord had answered my prayer.

Before 8th grade, my family moved out-of-state, and she did too. We lost touch for many years, but just a couple of months ago were able to get together for dinner and catch up. We knew very little of the adult versions of each other, but somehow that didn’t matter. Because for that one awkward year of middle school, we were best friends.

Every time I have moved to a new city, I struggled with the “I don’t have any friends” syndrome. But somehow in every city, over the course of time I found friends. One key to this has been to pray that I would be open to having friends. This may sound weird since I just admitted that I wanted friends. But there is a difference in wanting something and being ready to have it. If you plant a seed in hard, dry ground, most likely it won’t grow. My heart has to be ready to let someone in. Ultimately, this means I have to let my guard down and be willing to take a chance. Depending on your past hurts and experiences, this may be very difficult for some. It’s important to not let seeds of un-forgiveness and resentment from past hurts, ruin your heart’s soil for flourishing friendships. If you find yourself resistant to friends or having difficulty letting your guard down, ask the Lord to help you see what the wall is made of, and then ask Him how to take the wall apart. I say ‘apart’ because taking an emotionally guarded wall down is a process and not something that just falls down instantly.

I’ve since learned that to have one best friend is actually very limiting. To expect one person to fulfill all my “friend” expectations and needs is not only unrealistic, it’s not fair to the relationship. I now find myself asking the Lord for a variety of friends. I admit it. Most of my good friends are in the same stage of life as me, which is great because we have a lot in common. I want to have a variety of friends–single, married, American, not-so-American, kids/no kids, older/younger. I’m currently asking the Lord to bring a variety of friends into my life. I don’t want these types of friends just so I can say I have them, but I want them because I’ve recognized that diversity is good. So now I welcome it.

One thing I’ve learned though, is that God doesn’t answer my plea to friendships just like He did in 7th grade. It often looks different than I expect. While living in Charlotte for just 2 short years, I met one of my closest friends at Chick-fil-a. Let’s be honest, Chick-fil-a is not typically where you go to find friends. It just goes to show that you never know when a new friend is just around the corner.

In what ways do you find yourself having trouble letting friends in? Are you ready to have real, authentic friendships? Do you look at your current circle of friends and see homogeneity or a diverse group of people who learn from each other?

Kristy Chowning

Kristy Chowning is a mom of three little miracles. She is co-founder of Grace for Moms, a homemaker, and a 'retired' nurse practitioner.

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Filed Under: Faith, Friendship, You Tagged With: 31 Days, Friendship, Prayer

31 Days to Flourishing Friendships {Day 24} Key 21: Pray

By Kristy Chowning Leave a Comment

The twenty-first key to flourishing friendship is to pray.

This may seem obvious, but it is crucial to any flourishing friendship. Here are a couple things to pray for:

Pray for her. Pray for her family, her struggles, her life-pray for what she is going through. Pray for the Lord to meet her needs. Pray that the Lord will bless her. Not only will you be asking the Lord to meet her needs, but the Lord will also speak to you words of encouragement for her. Maybe the Holy Spirit will give you a God inspired idea to love on her. Some of my best “ideas” to love on a friend came to mind during prayer. This can be true for anyone really-not just your friends.

Pray for yourself. Ask the Lord to teach you how to be a good friend. The Lord will give you wisdom and discernment when you need it. We’ve mentioned that sometimes friendships go through growing pains or even stop growing. Ask the Lord how to respond to these difficult transitions. Most likely, every single one of us could think of a friendship that is struggling or one that has been lost. It’s hard to understand how it happened. What should be done to repair it? Is it even salvageable? What should I do? How do I respond? What did I do wrong?

Ultimately, I am only responsible for myself. In these difficult transitions, pray for wisdom to know how to respond. Ask the Lord to reveal to you what you need to do. Search your heart for things that you’ve done wrong and need to apologize for. Then go to her, and sincerely apologize.

I tend to optimistically believe that “if we just talked about it, then we could come to an understanding” because the truth will set us free. Right? Well, it’s more complicated than that. The truth does set you free but both parties have to want to face the truth.

Sometimes the truth is hard but simple; she has let the relationship go. It may be something you said or did, or it may not. Just because someone has chosen to let go of a relationship, doesn’t mean that it is something personal against you. So don’t take it personally. Life gets busy and people change. Even if you pinky swore that you would be BFF’s forever, sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Just be sure to not allow it to become a personal offense and a place of unforgiveness for you.

So guess what’s the best way to make sure that you don’t hold a grudge or continue to harbor ill feelings towards the relationship? Yep, you’ve got it, pray for her. You may not be living life together anymore or catching up on what’s going on in her life, but you can still pray for God’s best for her. Praying for someone changes your heart and mind toward them; it gives you God’s heart for them.

Prayer is powerful. Be sure to include it for your relationships during the good and bad times. Just like Jess mentioned yesterday, getting together and praying for each other’s needs is a beautiful thing. So don’t let prayer be put on the backburner of the friendship waiting for the really hard times. Because a friend loves at all times, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

{Photo courtesy of Publicdomainpictures.net}

Kristy Chowning

Kristy Chowning is a mom of three little miracles. She is co-founder of Grace for Moms, a homemaker, and a 'retired' nurse practitioner.

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Practicing Prayer. . .When I’m Desperate

By Jessica Wolstenholm 1 Comment

I’ve learned a lot about prayer since I’ve become a mom. Mostly that prayer doesn’t have to include a set aside time, event or place to be fervent and effective. I find my most passionate prayers coming at times like last night. . .when my 1 year old just didn’t want to go to sleep and I was done for the day. Out of energy after he cried so hard he threw up, on his lovey and then cried some more because he didn’t have his friend to comfort him in the night. . .I rubbed his back and desperately prayed, “Lord, please. Please bring peace to my son because he needs sleep (it was 10pm, his normal bedtime at 7:30) and I need rest myself. I am weary Lord. Please, please settle his heart and mind.” Sometimes these desperate prayers result in an immediate answer and at times they do not. After uttering these words, I put my son down in his bed and left the room as he cried. But a few minutes later he fell asleep. . .and slept until 8am this morning. Thank you Jesus. But had my prayer gone unanswered, I would have asked again and again until I felt the grace of God fall upon me to give me strength in my time of need.

I was reading this morning in one of my favorite devotionals, Choosing Joy: A 52-Week Devotional for Discovering True Happiness by author, Angela Thomas. This week we are learning about “Joy in Abiding.” She writes, “We will bear fruit only because we have remained in Christ. . .Keeping a conversation with him through prayer.” Since before I had children, when I fervently asked the Lord to grant my request of becoming a mom, my prayers have become more and more conversational.

Because the more desperate we are, the more willing we are to simply talk things out.

And that is the fruit of abiding. An ongoing, honest conversation with Jesus.

“There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God.” Brother Lawrence

This practice may not produce the exact results we are asking for but it will produce the fruit of peace and grace in our lives. It will produce strength and wisdom to help us in our time of need.

And that my friends, is the purpose of prayer.

“Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

What have you learned about prayer since becoming a mom? Have you found the practice of conversational prayer to be effective in your life?

Jessica Wolstenholm

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5 Things to Do When You Pray and Nothing Changes

By Jenevieve Wardell 8 Comments

It has been going on for two years. This problem my husband and I have. It is a problem that affects both of us and yet was caused by neither one of us.

We have spent plenty of time and money trying to solve this problem, but the thing we have done most is pray. And yet, nothing has changed. At least not yet.

I have prayed countless prayers asking God to make this problem go away and yet in his great sovereignty God is keeping silent on the issue. At this point, I have no inclination from Him that anything is going to change. But, I keep believing .

My faith ebbs and flows, though mostly flows because I have come to realize two major truths during this season of tears, frustration, hope and disappointment. The first is that as I look back over the course of my life, God has always come through for me. I don’t mean that things have always turned out the way I wanted or thought I needed them to. I mean, God has always been there for me no matter what happened in my life and I know he always will be.

In Hebrews 13:5 God says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Second, I have decided that when “life happens” to me—the bad parts—I am going to try and first decide who I want to be and then act. What I mean is this. When the situation is over, I want to look back and feel good about who I was during the process. Because that is what really counts, right? How we act when things don’t go our way. That is our opportunity to prove to ourselves and others how great our love and trust in God really are. These are the moments that shape our character, build our trust and make us more like Jesus.

Isaiah 53:3 says, “He (Jesus) was a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering.”

During this season, as I remember God’s faithfulness and am mindful of my response, there are a few other practices that help me—things that may benefit you when faced with a difficult life season.

1) Keep praying. Pray often. If you are married, pray with your husband. And, ask a few people you are close to and trust to pray for you.

2) Quote scripture. Find scriptures that relate to your issue and write them on index cards. Then place them around the house so you can read them throughout the day.

3) Have a team mindset. Whether your problem is personal, your husband’s or both of yours equally it can be easy to forget that you are on the same team. Stress can cause people to isolate themselves, argue or even lash out. Remember that you are on the same team fighting for the same thing—each others’ physical, spiritual and emotional well-being. It is also helpful to remember that God is on your team. He is for you and not against you.

4) Count your blessings. My great grandmother did this to alleviate worry. Think about the most difficult seasons of your life and how God brought you through. This reminds you of his faithfulness and builds your trust.

5) Ask for help. If you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed or anxious and prayer does not seem to be enough, seek professional help. Speak with a counselor or doctor to see what treatment options may assist you.

How about you? Have you been praying for something and nothing seems to change? How are you responding to the silence? What are you doing to remain hopeful? Will you one day look back and be pleased with your response to this season of your life?

Jenevieve Wardell

Filed Under: Blog, Faith, Family Tagged With: Bible Study, Bible Teaching, Faith, Perspective, Prayer, Stress, Trust

Family Prayers

By Jessica Wolstenholm Leave a Comment

My Family

I can hardly believe this year is almost over! It’s been a very full year for my family….including sad loss, miracle life and a ton of transition. The fact that we’ve come to the end of 2011 in one piece, full of joy and excited about the future is a great testimony to the grace of God!

Earlier in the fall I wrote a post about family prayers, sharing how the Lord led me to write and pray specific prayers over my husband and children in order to contend for specific things in their lives while celebrating the uniqueness of each of them. I want to revisit the idea and challenge us all to write and pray specific prayers as we turn the calendar and enter 2012. I can’t think of a better time to focus on the power of prayer in our family life. What are you believing for your husband and children in 2012? In what areas do they need growth and breakthrough? What challenging personality traits do you need to embrace and celebrate? I find that writing an honest and heartfelt prayer for these things allows me to focus my otherwise busy mind on what matters most.

I encourage you…take an hour or so over the next few days…sit down with your journal and a cup of something warm…and write your heart out to God on behalf of your family.

First, ask him to reveal to you the wonderful uniqueness of each family member. Thank him for their life.

Next, ask him to show you how you can stand in the gap for them this year. Areas of growth, challenges, awaited miracles.

Then, write a prayer for each of them.

Try to keep each prayer to a paragraph. 4-6 sentences. This way you can print them out and keep them in your bible or maybe on your bathroom mirror or in the car. Somewhere you will see them daily and remember to pray. Try making a prayer card for each one {like this one}. You can write answers to your prayers {with the date} below your prayers throughout the year. Then, put them together to make a prayer journal for each of your family members.

I am committed to walking through this process again because I believe these prayers may need to be adjusted on a regular basis. I look forward to 2012 with great anticipation of all God has in store for my family. Let’s do our part moms to cover our loved ones and expect great things for them in the coming year.

What methods do you use to remember to pray for your family?

{Originally posted on The Pregnancy Companion}

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